


Take Out

by ShipSeekingShippers



Category: Deadpool - All Media Types, Spider-Man - All Media Types
Genre: Deadpool has a huge crush on Spider-Man, Deadpool wants to take care of Spiderman, M/M, Peter has a deep love of food, Peter is crushing on DP, Poor Peter, Prompt #200 from Spideypool prompts, Prompt idea from lilawarawut, Protective Wade, Spideypool Big Bang, Spideypool-prompts, Starving Peter, college Peter, spideypoolfanfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-07
Updated: 2017-08-30
Packaged: 2018-12-12 14:29:30
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 8,147
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11738964
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShipSeekingShippers/pseuds/ShipSeekingShippers
Summary: Deadpool has tried everything to get his Baby Boy to notice him! Literally everything...It just so happens that plan #bazillion and a half worked! Who knew Spider was a foodie?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone!!! So I joined the Spideypool BigBang from: http://spideypoolfanfic.tumblr.com/
> 
> I signed up and sat on it forever! I was looking for a good fanfic to write when I found an amazing prompt at Spideypool-prompts
> 
> It was Prompt 200 by someone named lilawarawut!!! I loved the prompt and wrote a fic for it!!! Hopefully I did it justice!
> 
> Anyways this is a short story. Only 4 chapters and it's all done already. Just posting it bit by bit.
> 
> Check out the awesome fanart done for Take Out by SpazkittyX3  
> It's totally awesome!!! I love it and it makes me smile!!!
> 
> Hope you enjoy it!!!

//~~~~~Chapter 1~~~~~~~~\\\

"This is stupid..."

(No YOU'RE stupid)

[Of course! Blame us for everything!]

"You guys told me to do this! I wanted to go to Taco Palace and eat my weight in sour cream!" Wade growled as he clutched the greasy taco bag in his gloved hands.

(Dying of a burst gut? Again Wade? Seriously I think we can have better use of our Saturday night!)

[Yeah! What he said!]

Wade sighed angrily as he looked down to his feet and kicked at an empty soda can. He'd just got here twenty minutes ago and he was thinking the taco meat would go cold soon. Nothing worse than cold taco meat.

(Spoiled Taco meat is pretty bad too.)

"Don't remind me of that ugh..."

[Just take a chill pill Big Red. You'll see! This time it'll work!]

Wade glared to the right as if he could see the white box talking to him, "You said that last time when I bought the mariachi band!"

(To be fair... Who doesn't like to be sarinaded by the sweet sweet sound of a trumpet, accompanied by guitar and violin?)

"Apparantly Spidey doesn't because he took off and called me a creep!" Wade threw his free hand up to the sky.

[Well uh, besides that. Have we ever steered you wrong?]

"The newspaper ad didn't help." Wade crossed his arms, keeping a tight grip on the bag to keep the heat inside it's greasy folds.

(Ok how is, and I quote, 'Sexually frustrated mercinary, serching for webbed wall walking partner for a night of romance.' How is that not swoon worthy poetry?)

[Would have made my panties drop.]

"He hit me with a rolled up newspaper!"

(You still got hard when he did that)

"Not the point! The real reason I listened to you two bozos is because you promised me if I listened to your romance advice, I'd have Spidey! But all I've gotten from you two is alot of grief and anger from Baby Boy!" Wade pointed to a far wall with slitted eyes.

(Hey you think Rome was built in a day?)

[Yeah, you try coming up with a way to make a hot piece of ass like that fall for your fugly mug!]

Wade pulled his gun and pointed it to his head, "Say that again! I dare you!"

(Guys let's calm down here)

"Say it!"

[Fugly... fucking-]

(Don't say it!)

"Say it!" Wade cocked back the hammer and glared at the brick wall.

"Say what?" A voice dropped behind him and Wade quickly shoved his pistol back into his holster as he smiled to the hero behind him, sitting in a crouch from his land.

"Spidey! Baby boy! How's the night treating you? Not to cold right?" Wade quickly scratched the back of his mask.

(Smooth Romeo! Real smooth)

Spiderman sighed as he stood and glared at him, "Listen Pool I've had a long night and this is the last of my rounds. You up to anything? Or can I assume you've been a good boy and I get to go home?"

"Oh, you know you have a thing for us bad boy types. Get's your tights in a- Woah Woah where are you going?" Wade lifted his hand as Spidey turned back to the ledge and looked over his shoulder.

"Home Pool... Like I said I'm tired... I'm in no mood for your flirting."

"Oh someone's cranky"

Spidey pointed to him with narrowed eyes, "I'm not cranky!"

(Quick execute!)

"I'm not gonna kill him!" Wade glared back to the wall.

"What?" Spidey turned to face him in shock.

[No you idiot! Execute the plan! Plan One-Way-To-A-Man's-Heart!]

"Ohhh yeah!" Wade held out the hand that was clutching the grown paper bag, "Hey sweetums I brought you something!"

Spiderman looked to the bag with suspicion written all over his mask, "What is it... It's not another heart is it?"

"Ha ha, naawww, you don't seem to like organs too much. But it is fresh!" He waved the bag a bit to tantalize the hero who took a step back.

"Uh, I think I'll pass." He gently pushed the bag away from him and back to Deadpool's chest.

The mercenary looked down to it and back, "What? Why?

Spidey climbed the top of the ledge and put one leg on the side to balance on the inch long spacing, "I just don't have time for this tonight DP. I'm not in the mood for dealing with any evidence to a crime, or whatever crackpot idea you have in that bag. I'm just tired and- and I need to go home. So... Goodnight Deadpool." He pulled himself over the edge and braced his hands on the ledge about to jump off.

"I knew you wouldn't like it! I knew he wouldn't like it!" Wade sagged under his emotional sadness.

(But who doesn't like tacos?")

[Everyone loves tacos!]

"Apparently he doesn't like tacos," Wade replied with sad masked eyes looking to the old soda can he kicked earlier.

Spidey paused as he glanced back to the mercenary, "Tacos? like as in plural? As in more than one?"

Wade nodded as he held up the bag, "Taco Palace, half a dozen loaded tacos."

Spidey looked to the bag with wide masked eyes and Wade looked between the hero and the greasy bag, "With extra meat."

"A-and sour cream?" The hero stuttered as his sight never left the bag.

"A huge dollop on each one with lettuce and damn you know, fun fact. This place uses fresh lettuce so no brown gooey greens."

Spidey sighed dreamily as Wade swung the bag a bit and the hero's eyes followed its every move.

(Holy shit... Holy fucking shit!)

[I think we... I think we got a nibble!] 

Wade tried to resist cracking a smile as he watched the pure hunger cross the hero's face, "And salsa, and spicy meat, extra meat like I said."

Spidey leaned forward and Wade could swear he heard the hero's stomach growl, but Wade turned away, "Oh well, you said you were going home. Guess I'll just... eat these.. all alone. By my lonesome."

(Wait, what?)

[Don't leave! He's practically in our hands!]

"Shhh, trust me," He whispered as he took three long steps away.

"W-wait!" Spidey jumped over the ledge and rushed towards Wade, staying at least two steps away as the mercenary paused.

(And Bingo was his name Ohh)

"What was that baby boy? Wait? For what? You said you were through. Right?" The Merc raised a brow as he looked over his shoulder.

The hero actually looked bashful as he looked down to his feet, "Uh, well... Uh."

(Aw just give the poor kid a break)

[He looks so thin]

Deadpool nodded as he turned around and held out the bloated bag to the hero.

Spidey looked up to the bag and up to Wade for a few silent seconds before taking the bag and opening it to inhale the sweet scent of taco meat, "Oh wow.. that... that smells amazing."

They found themselves sitting on the ledge with Spidey's mask rolled up to his nose as he shoved half of a taco into his mouth. Wade watched with his chin resting on his palm that was propped on his legs. He studied how the kid inhaled the whole thing in less than thirty seconds before opening the next one.

"When's the last time you ate?"

Spidey paused mid chew as he looked to the merc and shrugged, "I ate this morning."

"Huh... this morning? That was hours ago. What are you running off? Eggs and toast?"

The hero winced as he unwrapped the third taco, "More like just toast."

"Woah Woah Woah kid... you're telling me you're powering off just a couple slices of bread and butter? Hasn't anyone ever educated you in the food pyramid?"

Spidey sighed angrily as he nibbled on some loose lettuce that was stuck in the wrapper, "Yeah well you try grocery shopping on my schedule... and pay... and- ok so food's never my top priority."

"Oh so saving little old ladies from crossing the street alone doesn't pay to keep the lights on?" He teased as he poked the teen's side and the hero glared to him.

"I'm working on it! I had to pay for textbooks this semester so I was a little short on food money."

Wade paused as he listened to the kid, "College? You never talk about yourself. You go to college... Hm."

Webhead winced as he looked to Wade with those perfect lips set it a thoughtful pout, "Well, the mask isn't just for show... I really don't want anyone to know what's under here. Kind of like you."

"Baby what's under here is a whole lot different than what you got." Wade motioned to his own face.

(Like a train wreck under there)

[Pfft like a nuclear explosion went off and we were caught in the blast]

"Whatever you say Pool... But thanks for the food." Spidey started on his fifth taco as Wade kicked his feet like a child and leaned back onto his palms as he just watched his baby boy eat.

"Anytime Baby Boy... anytime."

As soon as he finished the food Spidey stood up and dusted the crumbs off his uniform, "Well I kind of have a history paper to write."

"History major?"

"Nah, Bio-chemistry actually." The hero shrugged as if it weren't a big deal.

(So smart)

[Brains, ass, and a total cutie pie? He is quite the catch]

"You need someone to uh- proof read that paper? I've been told I can evoke quite the vocabulary." He wagged his brow to the hero who flushed at the neck and flashed him the cutest smile.

"Maybe next time Pool... Catch ya later." He shot some web off and jumped over the ledge.

The mercenary rushed to watch the hero swing and flip his way through the shining lights of New York towers and over cars. Letting out a dreamy sigh he leaned onto his hand that rested on the ledge.

(Wow did that just happen?)

[You mean did we just have a dinner date with Spidey-babe? I think we know the answer to that]

"We do?" Wade asked.

(Duh! And this is just the beginning)

"It is?"

[I'm thinking the kid looks a little thin... What kind of possible future boyfriend would we be if we didn't fatten him up?]

"We what?"

(Hmm, I agree. It's not only our duty as his number one fan and future lover. But a duty to this city to keep their savior well fed and taken care of!]

"We will?"

[Agreed!]

Wade nodded as he followed what they were saying, "Ok ok.. so we feed him and- and then what?"

(Well obviously, when he eats he becomes a regular chatty Cathy. Maybe we feed him and he opens up to us a bit more?)

[Enough to maybe show us his face?]

"Oh, I would like that... a lot"

(Maybe even enough to do more than showing his face.)

[Like dat ass]

"I would... very much like that," Wade nodded to the blank brick wall.

(Then it's settled... Don't worry man, we're gonna help you get this kid)

[Because when you win... we win.]

"Ok... I'm listening."

//~~~~~~~~~End Chapter 1~~~~~~~~~~~~\\\


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade plans another amazing dinner date for him and Spidey

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the awesome reviews guys!!! You're the best!!!  
> Also you know who's the best! My beta Levi!!! You the best!!!! <3<3<3

//~~~~~~~~~Chapter 2~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\\

"I'm NY Channel Seventeen reporter Amy Segow, reporting live from downtown where Spiderman is facing the Rhino in a life and death struggle!" An Asian woman yelled into her mic as she faced the camera while they crouched behind an overturned cab.

"Oh, here he comes!" The reporter pointed up and the camera man looked where she pointed to see the red and blue spandex clad hero sail over them from where the Rhino tossed him.

Spiderman landed against a bus, smashing out the windows from his impact and denting the side. He rubbed his head as the ground began shaking and he looked up to see the Rhino charging towards him.

"Look out, look out!" The enemy shouted as Spidey shot the web and swung out just in time.

The hero wobbled on his feet as he dodged the large man that was now throwing anything he could get at the hero.

"Come here and fight me like a man! Or should we start calling you Spider-BOY now!" The man laughed at the hero's attempt to dodge a fire hydrant he threw at him.

"Oh come on, Rhi-Rhi! Nothing about that body is boyish at all!" Came another voice as the hero and villain looked up to see the red and black mercenary standing over the dented bus that Spidey crashed into.

"Deadpool!" Rhino faced him with clenched fists.

"The one and only!" He curtsied as he drew his dual katanas.

"Deadpool, no killing!" Spidey pointed to him from where he perched on a flag pole.

"Shhh, baby baby, let daddy take care of this. You just rest those sexy muscles and watch as I tame this wild beast!"

The hero scoffed as he leaned back on the pole and arched a masked brow to his friend, "Yeah sure, have a crack at him. But try not to hurt him too much."

"Aw, come on, just a little off the top?"

"What? No way! DP, you want in on this or not because I could still go a few more rounds."

Wade pointed one of his katanas to the hero, "Oh, I bet you have pretty good stamina. My refractory time is quite impressive as well."

"You honestly can't take anything seriously, Pool!" Spidey swung down and landed before DP with angry masked eyes.

"I take a lot of things seriously! Canadian Mounties, Selena Gomez, Cupcake Wars--these are things I take pretty fucking serious!"

"Wow, point made!" Spidey crossed his arms and shook his head.

"What?" Wade threw his katanas in the air with his hands.

The ground began to shake making Wade looked down to the moving rubble and to the right with wide eyes.

"And another thing--" Spidey poked the merc's chest but Wade grabbed hold of the hero and pulled him with a powerful yank out of the line of Rhino's charge.

The villain smashed into the wall where the two were previously standing a second ago, "You two are giving me a headache!"

"Well, how about you take two and call me in the morning?" Spidey asked as the Rhino had his back to them.

"Two? Two of what?" He turned around just as two different fists smashed into his face, sending the villain flying backward smashing the front of a store.

Deadpool and Spidey clapped the dust off their hands before giving a fist bump to each other, "Nailed it."

Shield showed up pretty soon after with electrified handcuffs and took the Rhino into custody.

"The city of New York thanks you, Spiderman... But we're gonna have to ask you to come in as well." Colson stood before the hero.

"Sorry, Agent. You must have my answer memorized by now." Spidey shot the web out and took off as the agent smiled at the retreating hero.

"Oh, I can only guess." He said to himself as he glanced to Wade who was watching the hero swing off, "You ditching me too, Wilson?"

"Well, you know what they say, ol' pal. Three's a party but four's a crowd. You have enough witnesses to ask without me being one of them." Wade turned away as he walked out in the direction Spidey swung in.

"Have a good night, Wilson. Tell your friend Spidey that Shield can only hold off from finding out his identity for so long." The agent called as the mercenary waved him off but never turning around.

After making a quick stop the mercenary climbed up top to their normal meeting place. 

(Think he'll be here?)

[He better! You know how long it took us to come up with this!]

(Like five minutes?)

[Oh yeah]

Wade reached the top and wanted to let out a girlish scream when he saw baby boy leaning over the ledge, looking out over the city.

"You came!" Wade tried to sound as manly and suave as possible but it came out breathy and happy.

Spidey turned and he noticed the mask was rolled up to his nose again as the teen smiled to him. In that moment with the setting sun, pink clouds and New York skyline in the backdrop and that sweet innocent smile. Wade felt his heart flat line and jump like it always did when he would revive, except this time... it was continuous and excessive in rhythm.

"Well yeah... isn't this kind of our thing?" Spidey turned and with a lift, he sat himself down on the ledge and tilted his perfect head.

"Our thing?" Wade asked as he clutched the paper bag to his chest to slow down his heart.

(We have a thing?)

[If he says we have a thing then fuck, we have a thing]

"Yeah, you know... Uh, company? Or friendship? Solitude? Whatever you call it, we have it." Spidey shrugged and Wade could see that flush coming back to the teen neck.

The past five months they normally met on this rooftop after Spidey's patrols most nights and just... talked. Not about personal lives but hero stuff. Not that Wade was a hero, more like reformed bad guy trying to turn good? Spidey made sure to keep him on a short leash the first few months they met. Making sure he refrained from killing people, bad or good. 

"Do we?" Wade asked softly and the hero turned away to look back at the city.

"Thanks for the help with Rhino today, but I had him on the ropes."

Wade came forward and leaned his back against the ledge but turned his head to look at his Spidey, "Oh, was that before or after he slammed you around like a toddler with an Elmo doll?"

Spidey just blinked at him as Wade laughed and set the bag between them.

"What's that?" Spidey leaned forward and crossed his legs.

"Dinner... Chinese, to be precise. I got fried rice, Kung Pow, lo mein, shrimp--oh wow" Wade was cut off when Peter opened the bag and pulled out a white container of chicken. When the top popped open he whispered a soft, 'yes' as he dug out a piece with his fingers and popped it into his mouth.

"Ohhh, someone just take more toast today?"

Spidey scoffed, "More like a candy bar from the vending machines outside my Trig class."

"Ohhh, trig... you know I'm pretty good with math, mostly Pi. 3.14159265359, etcetera, etcetera." Wade set out the other white containers next to the hero and a fork.

"Hm, well, you seem to know your way around numbers." He smiled up to Wade.

"Not quite. You see, I'm still lacking the ten digits to your number." Wade winked as Spidey snorted and chuckled.

(He laughed!)

[We made him laugh?]

Wade tried to bite back a cheer as Spiderman lowered his laughter and took the fork as he dug into the chicken container.

"What did you do today?" Baby boy asked around a mouth full of food.

(He actually wants to know about our day?)

[What did we even do today?]

Wade looked to the blank wall to the side before scratching the back of his mask, "Uh, mostly... slept, watched TV... Uh, I guess that's it?"

The hero nodded as he took two more large bites of food.

"You gonna eat any?"

Wade looked down to the containers that Spidey was motioning to with the fork and shrugged, "I'm not hungry."

"Suit yourself."

"What about your day?" Wilson crossed his legs and leaned forward on his bent knees.

"Just class and work. Ya know... Just making it one day at a time."

"You work?" 

Spidey paused and nodded, "Yeah, just part time... I need to afford my livings somehow."

"What do you do?" Wade tilted his head to the side.

The spider hero paused as he looked down to the food as if trying to think of an answer. Wade was sure he wouldn't get a response until the teen looked back up at him.

"I--uh, you're gonna think it's stupid."

The mercenary smirked as he let out a breathy laugh, "Baby boy, you could dress as a banana and sing Hollaback Girl, and I'd still think you were the coolest thing since Footloose."

Silence followed as Spiderman lowered the food into his lap and sighed loudly, "Ok... Um, I kind of.... get my picture taken... by this photographer."

Wade's eyes went wide as his mouth dropped open, "You..."

Spiderman nodded, "Yeah."

"You do porn?" The mercenary shouted and the teen's face lit up bright red, well at least he could see from the nose down it did.

"What? No! I sell my photos to the Daily Bugle!" 

Deadpool paused as he squinted his eyes to the hero, "What, like selfies?"

"Not exactly... I know this photographer kid. Peter, uh he's just as broke as I am. Came to me like a year ago with this offer."

"A sexy offer?" Wade asked softly, almost scared for the answer yet slightly aroused.

Spidey glared at him, "No! Ugh, he's a kid! He promised to split any pay he got for my photos. You notice how the Bugle's the only paper in town that actually gets non-blurry photos of me? I pose for him, he get's paid, and we split it."

Wade nodded as he swung one leg over the ledge and swung it as the other stayed on the ledge, "So, does he, like, know your identity?"

"No way! I'd never put anyone's life in danger by telling them who I am. Peter and I meet like once a week for some photos here and there. If I see him while I'm in a fight I make sure he get's the good shots. S'not like I can afford a nine to five job on my schedule."

"Wow, okay. Well, that's not stupid at all." The leather clad man looked at the hero.

"Really?" Spiderman sounded like he didn't believe Deadpool.

"Yeah! I mean for the past, like, ten years I've made money off killing people. You'd rather starve than mess with your integrity. I admire that, Spidey."

Silence filled between them as Spiderman looked from his food to Deadpool with a smile, "Thanks, DP."

"No problem." Wade kicked his foot against the ledge.

Spiderman took a large bite of food as Wade fought the urge to squeal at how cute he looked.

"Anyway, you'd take special photos for me? Does this Peter kid take requests?"

Spiderman choked on his food as he coughed and turned bright red all over again.

"Deadpool!"

"Haha, sorry! Not sorry! But seriously, does he have like a secret collection of ass shots that I could buy off of him?"

A smack was heard as Spidey cuffed the back of Wade's head with an annoyed look, "Grow up, Deadpool!"

"I love it when you say my name!"

"Deadpool!"

"Aw yeah!!!"

"Ew!"

(Okay, so bringing him food really does work)

[I think this is the beginning of something B-E-A-UTIFULLL]

//~~~~~~End Chapter 2~~~~~~~~~~~~\\\

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Reviews make me happy!!!


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More food, more fluff!!!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone!!! So glad you guys like this!!! I found myself really wanting to write more lol! Just the thought of Wade feeding Spidey is so cute!!!
> 
> Big shout out to my amazing Beta!!! He's really a life saver!!!

//~~~~~~Chapter 3~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\\

"Okay, so you take the three and make it divisible by X because X can grill the cheese perfectly." 

"What?" Peter looked up from his notes to his professor who was writing an equation across the board.

Looking around the auditorium of seventy so students spread across all on either laptops, tablets, cell phones, or just taking notes. Peter looked down to his own notes and blinked before focusing back onto the teacher.

"So we move on to carry the basket of breadsticks to the sixth power." Mr. Allan pointed to his equation with the dry-erase marker.

Peter felt his stomach growl loudly as he blushed and looked to his right to see some teen glance up at the sound and look around.

"And that is how you find the deep dish pizza," Mr. Allen faced the class with a nod, "I hope you all took notes. This will be on the mid-term."

Cursing himself for getting distracted, Peter took down the notes he missed as Mr. Allen moved onto the next equation. Crunching was heard as he glanced to his left to see a teen girl unwrapping a chocolate bar. He felt his whole mouth water as he watched her take a bite of the milk chocolatey goodness. She glanced up at him and he quickly looked away blushing as he placed a hand over his growling stomach. 

Peter took a batch of photos to Mr. Jameson yesterday to get paid and the man didn't want a single one! Said they were too 'hero looking' for his paper. 'Bring back one of him drenched in blood and we got ourselves a paper front!' his boss' words rang in his ears.

So, no food meant he had to dip into his savings and pay the rent with what he had left. The only thing getting him through the day was thinking of the box of ramen waiting for him at home. Sweet, sweet chicken ramen... maybe he'd splurge and pocket a few free cracker packs from the college cafeteria. 

"Well, that's all for today. I expect your thesis statements on my desk by next week. Have a good weekend." Mr. Allen began erasing the board and Peter winced as he realized he was zoning out and looked down to his half filled notes. The board was erased now as people made their way down the stairs with their bags. Groaning, he dropped his head onto the desk and looked at the dark coffee stained wood.

After everyone left he stood and made his way out to the front of the campus. Man, when your stomach is empty it felt like putting a bit of liquid in a full balloon. Lot's of sloshing with every step he took and it made him sicker and sicker. Now he could go home and eat that Ramen, but not before getting those crackers.

Peter turned to face the direction of the cafeteria when an alarm in the far distance went off. Normal people couldn't hear it but his enhanced spidey senses caused his ears to ring as if it were right before him. Taking off in a jog he rushed to a deserted alleyway to change. 

'Guess dinner will have to wait.' He thought as he swung off to the crime scene.

The sun was setting in the distance as Peter landed onto the rooftop of a laundromat across from a bank that was currently being robbed. He looked down to the people running away from the smashed windows as a gun went off inside. As Spidey lifted a hand to shoot the web, a particularly bad case of nausea hit Peter causing him to take a few steps back before falling onto his butt and holding his head.

He wretched his mask up to his nose and felt himself dry-heave onto the concrete. Nothing but a bit of stomach acid came up as he clutched his stomach. His stomach was so empty he couldn't even get sick properly.

"Baby boy, you came! Woah, are you okay?"

Peter looked to the side to see Deadpool jump down from the conjoining rooftop. The mercenary came to his side and Peter rolled onto his back as he looked up to Wade, "I don't feel good."

"Okay. okay, uh, I got you." He reached out for the teen but Peter shook his head and another gunshot rang out.

"No, the bank... people--I have to... ugh."

A hand pushed the hero back down after he tried to sit up and he looked up to his friend in the red and black leather as he shook his head, "I'll get that, you stay here, baby boy."

Peter was going to protest when his stomach lurched again and he nodded and Deadpool disappeared. Laying there looking up at the pink sky, Spidey heard the police through a speaker phone call for the robber's attention. There were a couple gun shots and Peter closed his eyes for what felt like seconds. But upon opening them Deadpool was back and giving him two thumbs up.

"We good!"

Spidey looked to his side as he grunted, "What happened?"

"Bad guys are in the back of those squad cars down there. I'm all yours now, baby boy. What's wrong?" Deadpool crouched down and looked to his hero.

"Ugh, I think I'm just... ugh, oh god... I'm so hungry... I haven't eaten in like 48 hours." He closed his eyes and tried to stop the world from spinning.

Deadpool gasped, "Baby boy! Wha--you--Damn it, you can't do that!"

Peter finally felt the world stop spinning as he sat up slowly and looked to his friend, "I'm fine... I'm on my way home for dinner."

"Uh, you good to uh--you know... swing? In your state?"

"I'm fine. I can get home." Peter stood and rubbed his neck.

Deadpool looked around the roof as he stood as well, "Um, or you could... you know... come over to my place for dinner?"

"What?" Peter looked to DP with wide eyes.

"Yeah, you know... I was thinking of ordering pizza. Like with stuffed crust and like the cheesiest fucking bread this side of New York!" 

Peter felt his stomach summersault at the mental image of cheese bread, "I don't want to put you out."

"Put me out? Nawww, come on! I live, like, two blocks over! Not that far at all!" Deadpool pointed to the east buildings in the distance.

Peter chewed on the inside of his cheek as he looked between Deadpool and the city before shrugging, "Fine, you lead the way."

Deadpool pumped his fist as he nodded, "Parkour it is!" 

With that Wade backflipped off the building and landed on the fire escape. The ladder slid down and he jumped off it onto the dumpster into a rolling landing. Peter watched amused as Deadpool raced down the alleyways and between buildings as the hero swung behind him. Eventually, Peter noticed Wade climb the fire escape and jump in a window on the eighth floor. Pausing the hero stood on the rooftop and took a deep breath before diving down and slinging himself into the open window, landing in his every popular hero landing.

"Uh, yeah and make it snappy!" Wade hung up his phone and tossed it onto a pile of laundry that was in the corner.

Peter looked around his new surroundings for any threats or--god forbid, any other house guests. It was actually quite bare...

The apartment was one of those open floor models that had the brick walls and high ceilings and dark wooden floors. Peter could only imagine a months rent here would feed him for several months most likely. This place could be beautiful, except with Deadpool it was... well, messy would be the wrong word.

"This place is trashed." Spidey stood from his landing and looked at all the piles of trash that covered every square foot. There was a perfect open path before the window but the door on the other side had four pizza box stacks before it rotting away. Everything else was just trash, clutter, random guns laying on random trash piles. Peter walked towards the couch that seemed to be the only furniture not covered in trash or old pancakes.

"Yeah. me casa es su casa, Spidey babe." Deadpool walked to the fridge and opened it. "Want a beer or something?"

Peter shook his head politely, "I'm underage."

Wade paused, "How underage are we talking? Like I thought you were in college?"

"Uh, I'm nineteen."

Deadpool swooned as he clutched his own face, "So ripe for the picking!"

"What?"

"Nothing!" DP sang as he cracked open a beer and handed Spidey a soda as he sat across from him on the couch.

Peter rolled up his mask to his nose and took a sip of the frosty sugar. His stomach growled at wanting food not liquid but he just let it pass knowing the food was on the way. He distracted his hunger by looking around some more at the trashed apartment, "Uhhh, you have a... unique decorating scheme going on here."

DP nodded, "I was going for an Andy Warhol kind of look, ya know? Soup cans and all."

Spidey nodded, "Well, I can see where your good intentions started. Oh that--that, uh, wall art is, uh--is that blood?" He pointed to a wall splattered red to make the symbol for Deadpool.

Wade shrugged, "Yeahhhhh, I was feeling very finger painty last month. Don't worry, I only used recycled blood from the source."

"Riiiight." Spidey faced forward as he tapped his gloved finger on the soda top.

Wade lifted the edge of his mask a bit so he could drink his beer. Spidey didn't seem to mind lately that he lifted it a little more each time they met.

"So, how's school?"

Peter snapped up and smiled, "Uh, it's great. I actually just got out of class, like, an hour ago."

"Hm, you went to class that hungry? How did you even focus?"

Spidey blushed and looked down to his drink, "I actually didn't."

"Ohhhh, is Spidey being a bad student now? I might have to put you in detention, young man." DP put his feet up on the coffee table and leaned back into the couch.

"Pfft, I'd like to see your version of detention. What are you gonna make me do, draw thousands of dicks on the board?" Peter chuckled as DP joined him.

"Maybe I will, or maybe I'm a more strict teacher.... Maybe I'll bend you over my knee and give you a good lesson in life."

"Right! Like you would try." 

DP smiled brightly at the challenge and was about to go more into detail when there was a knock on the door that was covered by old pizza boxes.

"Food!" Wade jumped over the back of the couch and with a swift kick, he flung all the old pizza boxes to the side as they toppled over another small pile of trash.

Spidey kind of hung in the back, not wanting anyone to see him in full costume. But within seconds DP had slammed the door and returned with his arms full of pizza boxes and smaller boxes on top.

"Okay, so I figured three for me three for you right?" DP came over to the cluttered coffee table, "You mind?" he motioned to the mess.

Peter looked down to the messy table and hovered his hands over what to pick up, "Uh, should I get a trash bag?"

"Nah, just knock it off." Wade nodded.

"Uh, some of these cups have liquid in it and--"

"Baby boy... just... knock it off," Wade insisted.

Peter looked up at him before gently pushing the mess into the floor, wincing as a few cups splashed and spilled across the beautiful hardwood floors. He could hear his Aunt May lecturing him about being a horrible guest. Wade didn't seem to mind as he set the food down on the now empty table. He divided three boxes each and their own breadstick box in the center. Peter didn't even look at what type of pizza it was as he snatched the first slice on top and crammed it into his mouth.

"Careful, Spidey-babe, it's--"

"Fuck, that's hot!" Peter snatched his soda and took a drink before lowering it and hanging his tongue out to air it a bit.

Wade looked to the teen's small pink tongue and his fucking dick went right into overdrive.

"Uh, you good?" Wade asked.

"Yeah just--fuck, that was hot. I think I burned the roof of my mouth."

Deadpool didn't hear Spidey curse a lot, but when he did it really revved his engines for a green flag.

"Uh, you know saliva is considered a form of medical treatment in some countries?" Wade asked as he set his own food down.

Peter looked to Wade and realized they were sitting pretty close now, "Is it?"

"Yeah, just some kind of internal knowledge to lick a burn or a cut. Kind of like animals do."

"So, you're saying I should lick the roof of my mouth?" Peter had a curl of a smile on his lips as he thought about how cute Deadpool's random ideas were.

"Or you know... maybe someone else's saliva? Maybe someone with super healing abilities? Maybeee, someone close by?"

Peter knew exactly where this was going, and if he wasn't so damn high off the scent of pizza and drunk off Wade's flirty attitude, then maybe he would have pushed the mercenary away and laughed it off at just him being Deadpool. But right now in this moment Peter raised an eyebrow under his mask and shrugged, "Yeah, but who are we gonna find on such short notice?"

"Well, gosh, I guess I could clear my schedule for the evening. You know, all in the name of medical science and all." Wade leaned closer.

"Okay," Peter leaned forward until he closed the space and their lips clashed together. 

Fucking hell... Wade always thought his first kiss with Spidey, if he ever got the chance, would be sweet and tender. But this was pure raw want and need as their tongues slid against each other. Mouths opened and wet as they panted, bit, sucked and slid against the other. There wasn't a part of Peter's mouth that Wade missed with his tongue and Peter just tilted his head back and let DP take over this kiss. 

What felt like hours, was actually only minutes as Wade pulled away when he heard Peter's stomach growled again. 

"Uh, you should eat." He picked up his own food and took a bite.

Peter sat there and looked up to Wade with a flush going down his cheeks to his neck as he too picked up a slice and bit into the now cool cheese. He wasn't sure if it was the hunger or the butterflies in his stomach that made him light headed. Either way, Peter was now interested in finding out. After he ate of course.

//~~~~~~~~~~End Chapter 3~~~~~~~~~~~~~\\\

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo whatcha think??? More coming soon!!!


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Wade confronts Spider-Man about what he is and what they are.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow the response for this has all been amazing!!! Honestly this WAS SUPPOSE to be the last chapter but I think I might write an epilogue or something later. Maybe something with bedroom talk and breaking IKEA furniture!
> 
> Anyways first I would like to thank my Beta Levi! He's a big support to me and his encouragement means a lot to me!
> 
> Next I'd like to thank the Spideypool Big Bang for giving me the chance to post this under their awesome event!!! Seriously guys the fanfics that this event brought out are amazing!!! Check it out!!!

//~~~~~~~~Chapter 4~~~~~~~~~~~\\\

So food was totally the right way to go in the grand scheme of things. If Mexican got his attention, and Chinese got him information, pizza got him a kiss... what else could he do?

Deadpool tried it all.

Within a month he and Spidey met after patrols for all kinds of meals. Wade surprised him with sushi and that got him a pretty hot make-out session behind the water tower on 8th and 10th. After that, it was subs from this awesome meatball shop near his gun dealer and damn if that didn't get him the privilege of grabbing a handful of that amazing ass that haunts his every waking hour. Everything came with a thank you from a very full and eager Spidey. Wade was so happy! Not a day went by where he wasn't fantasizing about his Wallcrawler and a new way to surprise him.

During a particularly hot day, he brought them Slurpees and they had a lovely afternoon break. That's when Wade learned that Spidey lived on his own, but before that he lived with his aunt. The kid opened up to him how he didn't grow up with the standard parents. Wade got more pieces to the puzzle that was Spiderman, and he could almost make out the edges of the picture it made.

Things that might seem small or not a big deal, were very important to Wade. The fact that he hated mushrooms and loved caramelized onions on pretty much anything, those things were critical to know for Wade! Spidey preferred cold drinks to hot drinks, and his favorite dipping sauce was mayo mixed with ketchup! Okay, so not all his insights were food related, but damn it if everything wasn't important! 

But after all the food dates, kissing, and butt fondling... Spidey still hasn't told him his name... his real name.

[Maybe we haven't found the RIGHT food to give him?]

(Oh yeah, like there's some magical food out there that'll just give us his whole identity!}

[Have we tried Gumbo?]

"Gumbo is a last resort! We have to think big here! He'll be here before you know it!" Deadpool threw a handful of garbage into the black bag he was carrying.

(We're already cleaning our apartment for this kid! What else does he want!)

[Broski, think big! Maybe some spaghetti? Lady and the Tramp style?]

"Hmmm, messy yet classic." Wade hummed as he thought about it.

(Kind of like our relationship with Spidey!)

[I think we have a winner!]

"Okay, okay... Spaghetti it is! Finally an excuse to wear my chef hat!" Deadpool put his hands on his hips and struck a pose as the boxes sighed.

One trip to the supermarket and two hours of extensive cooking lessons from Youtube later....

A knock came to the window as DP squealed, "He's here!"

(No shit! Let him in!)

[Oh my Gawd I can't breath!]

(You don't breath!)

[Oh yeah...]

DP came to the window and swung it open to reveal the love of his never ending life. 

"Spidey baby!" He grabbed the spandex clad chest and yanked him in.

The hero rolled up the bottom of his mask in time to accept a sweet kiss from the mercenary.

"Hey, Wade. Wow, something smells amazing." He poked his head over Wade's shoulder to see but Wade blocked him.

"Ah, ah, ah," he waved a finger. "No peeking."

Spidey turned away but took in the clean... ermmm, well cleaner apartment.

"Oh, someone's been busy. This all for me?" He looked to the mercenary who blushed.

That's when the Web Crawler noticed the Merc was in his own civilian clothes for once. Sure he's seen Wade without his mask a few times but never without his suit. He smiled brightly and took a seat on the couch, "You look good."

"Aw shucks, baby boy, flattery will get you everywhere. Annnd by everywhere I mean my bedroom, it's just over there sooo." DP pointed to a door on the other end that was cracked open.

Spiderman blushed and DP always wondered if the pink flush went past where the mask perched on his nose. How high did it go? Hopefully tonight he'll find out!

A ding went off causing Wade turned and dashed off to the kitchen as he hollered over his shoulder, "So how was your day?"

"Exhausting! Changeling wouldn't give it a rest! I swear, if I have to hunt that guy down in a crowd again I'll lose my mind!" Spiderman slouched on the couch.

"Losing your mind isn't so bad! At least you have company with the voices in your head!"

(Yeah, we're one big happy family)

[We put the fun in disfunctional]

DP loaded up their plates and took a deep breath as he came around the corner and sat on the couch with Spidey. He set their plates on the table next to the chilled grape soda that happened to be Spidey's favorite.

"Oh snap! Spaghetti and meatballs? Awesome!" Spidey cheered excitedly as Deadpool accepted the mental pats from the boxes.

They dug in as Wade listened to Spidey talk about his day, pitching in every now and then.

"Yeah, so now I have a six-page essay due on the history of the lignocellulosic biomass by tomorrow. Ugh, not looking forward to that all-nighter." Spidey set down his empty plate and leaned into the couch.

"I mean, I could suggest another all nighter we could do?" Wade nudged his guest with his elbow.

Spiderman blushed again as he looked to Wade with that sweet smile that always killed him and brought him back to life. 

"Ugh, as much fun as I can imagine that being, I should get a head start home." He leaned forward and placed a kiss on Wade's mouth before standing up.

Wade froze as he stood up quickly and watched as the hero walks to the window, "Wait! You're leaving?"

(God damn it, I knew we should have done gumbo!)

Spidey turned back and stretches his arms, getting ready for the long swing home, "Yeah, I need to get this paper done."

Wade sighed as he looked down, "Oh... okay."

Peter could sense the change in the room as he looked to his host, "Wade you okay?"

"Yeah, yeah... I'm... Fin--Actually... you know what?"

(Uh-oh!)

[He's going, rogue!]

"I'm not okay! I'm pretty pissed actually!" Wade glared to Peter who froze.

"What? Why?"

"Because you, Spiderman... you are a prostitute!" Wade jabbed his finger at Spiderman who's eyes went wide.

"What!" He screeched.

DP put his hands on his hips, "Not the fun kind either! Before all this, you hardly gave me the time of day! All I knew about you was that you might be possibly jailbait and have a moral compass bigger than all the Avengers put together!"

Spiderman tried to open his mouth but DP interrupted him as he took a step closer and Peter took one back.

"But the second I start paying you--AKA, feeding you--you open up to me! I pay you with food and you give in to me! The bigger the meal the more of you I get! Damn it, baby boy, I want more than this! Just learning small bits about you isn't enough anymore!" Wade walked until Peter had his back to the window before turning away and walking back to the couch.

"I thought tonight was the night! I made us an amazing dinner and you can't even stay for the damn cheesecake I made! Am I just a sugar daddy to you? Or should I call myself a foodie daddy?"

Peter opened his out, "Wade I--"

"No! I need to know right now! Are you really into me or am I just--am I just paying you for your attention and your time with food?" Wade looked to Spiderman with big vulnerable eyes.

Peter stood there in the silence as he let the words sink in. After what felt like an eternity he cracked a smile, "Did you say cheesecake?"

"What?"

[(What!)]

Wade and the boxes were dumbfounded as they watched the hero reach a hand up and slide his thumb under the mask. With a swift pull, the mask slid off his head and went into his hands.

"Holy--"

(Fucking)

[Shit]

He's gorgeous... those bright hazel eyes looking into his own blue ones with such innocence and adoration it nearly knocked the wind out of him. Hair so fluffy and messy from being under that mask, he wanted to run his hands through it to see if it was as soft as it looked. Damn his face was so... so perfect...

"Wade... Uh... I think there's a bit of a misunderstanding here." Peter chuckled as he walked forward.

Wade was frozen in place as the hero put his hands on his shoulders and looked up to the mercenary with those hypnotic eyes, "Is there?"

Peter bit his lip as he leaned up and bumped his own nose against Wade's, "Hmmm, you know... cheesecake is my favorite... like out of everything."

Wade leaned into the warmth and smiled as he put his own hands around Peter's waist, "You know this doesn't help my whole, 'you're a prostitute' theory."

"You have to know then, without a shadow of a doubt, I'm into you. I wouldn't sell myself out for just any food from any man. The man has to be pretty special and the food has to be pretty good to get me out of my shell." Peter quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Is that so, Spidey-babe?" Wade smirked.

"Peter."

"What?"

"My name... Peter Benjamine Parker." Peter looked down as that blush took over his face and Wade watched those cheeks go pink all the way up to his ears. So that's how far the blush went...

"Oh." Was all he could say.

Peter shrugged quickly, "But 'baby boy' is good, too. I kind of like it."

Wade let a huge grin came to his face, "Damn it! I'm in love with a prostitute."

They broke out into laughter as Peter's blush darkened, "Uh... well... since you're paying me in cheesecake... how about I start working? Maybe you can finally give me that tour of your bedroom?"

Wade and the boxes all high-fived as he let go of Peter and rushed to the fridge. He took out a large plate of chocolate cheesecake and pointed to the bedroom.

"Bon Appetit!" He shouted as they rushed into the bedroom laughing.

//~~~~~~~End Chapter 4~~~~~~~~~~~\\\

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sooooo whatcha think???
> 
> Should I do more or is this a good spot to end???
> 
> Should I do a little more freak in the sheets? Be honest!!!
> 
> Thanks everyone!!!

**Author's Note:**

> Well? What do you think? I love reviews!!!
> 
> Once again go check out the fanart by SpazkittyX3  
> It's awesome!!!

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * [Take Out](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11741067) by [SpazkittyX3](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpazkittyX3/pseuds/SpazkittyX3)




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